Same-Sex Marriage: Bearing One Another In Love

Today’s rulings on same-sex marriage by the Supreme Court—both the question of Proposition 8 and the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)—are events that will go down in history books. These are also issues that, because of their direct connection with the institution of marriage, impinge on the life of the church.


Across the nation today, there were countless people rejoicing. The government has determined there is no constitutional reason for the federal government not to recognize marriages that were dully entered into by individuals of the same sex in those states where such marriages are performed. This recognition brings with it a whole host of privileges that to this point were denied such couples by the federal government. It is a moment of justice for gay and lesbian people.

But while some celebrate, others aren’t so excited. Some are worried. Some are angry. Some are confused. While I don’t share these feelings, I can appreciate that they feel this way. To say that I appreciate it doesn’t mean that I agree with them or even believe they’re justified in feeling how they do, but it says that I recognize that they have these emotions and feelings and that I want to be there for them as people. In this place, the words of Scripture offer a more concise expression of what I mean:

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are.

St. Paul wrote those words to the church at Rome in the first century, but they apply to us today—not just as it comes to bear on the question of same-sex marriage, but it’s especially helpful for us to consider them today for that reason. While we who rejoice at this decision from the Supreme Court express ourselves, we can’t forget there are many around us, many who are our brothers and sisters in Christ and perhaps even our own family, who don’t share our exuberance. Their reading of Scripture, while we might not agree with it or understand it, doesn’t allow them with good conscience to celebrate.

Evangelical Christians can recognize where others with different convictions are and appreciate their thoughts and feelings without conceding that they’re interpretation of Scripture is the “correct” one. What’s more important than singleness of mind is singleness of heart—a singleness that is directed at God through, with, and in Christ Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. In Christ, we can bear the burdens of our brothers and sisters without haughtiness, selfimportance, or vainglory. In Christ, we can accompany others who are different from us and love them as fellow pilgrims on the walk of faith.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Let’s celebrate this moment when the arc has bent a bit more, but at the same time, let’s remember that our celebration is in Christ—the one in whom divisions are no more and barriers no longer matter. Let’s remember those around us, known and unknown, who can’t celebrate. Let's pray that they can still sense a welcoming presence reflective of God’s love within the body that is Christ. And lastly, let’s not lord it over those who can’t share in our joy and pray for unity and harmony in the church and in the world—because we’re all God’s children loved and cherished beyond conceivable measure.